October 27, 2005

Next Stop: IMAGINATION!

Imagine yourself sitting in a dark expanse. You can't see anything, but you don't feel blind... you don't feel suffocated in darkness. It feels, in fact, quite airy, and you know that the deep black shroud that sits over you is vast - indescribably so.

You sit on nothing, and it's quite comfortable. You can't feel a chair, bench or other support holding you up, but you are relaxing and expectant - like you are ready for something to begin. Something does. Far off to your right, you spot an almost too-tiny-to-see speck. This speck is red; a glowing pin prick in the vastness. As you watch it, you begin to tingle, almost as if you feel the warmth from the dot seeping into you. You wait, a slight smile appears on your face as if you know what's coming next - even though you don't.

Far off in the deepness another pin prick appears. It is vividly clear, as the first, but this one is a vibrant blue. It's a shade of blue you've never seem before, one so bright and clear that you feel as if you are looking straight into a blue diamond. Even though the spots are miniscule, you see them with perfect vision; your eyes are clear without needing to strain in the least. Then, as you observe, you notice the two specks begin to shimmer, just like you've seen the stars do in the cool night sky. It looks as though some sort of warm vapor is passing in front of them, letting them dance in the deepness.

Then you begin to move. Slowly at first, but then quite swiftly as the wind begins to ruffle your hair. Suddenly you are flying; moving so fast that time seems to slow down. You look around in the vast expanse and wonder how fast you are moving... probably too fast to measure. You look ahead at the two pin pricks of color and notice they are larger. Yes, you are moving toward them. You push away a wave of concern and lean back, closing your eyes and enjoying a new smell that has been delivered by the rushing winds. Sweetness... cool, clean, sweetness. It's the only way you can describe it to yourself.

Rushing upon the blue speck, you realize that the sparkling pin prick is now much larger than you expected, and radiantly colorful. Although it's main hue is clear acrylic blue, every other color in the rainbow (and other colors you could have never imagined) sparkle throughout the giant sphere. Almost too bright to look at, you stare in perplexed awe at such beauty. Never before have you seen something so valuable (you tell yourself it must be valuable) and been so close.

As you grow closer and closer to the magnificent, dazzling jewel, you realize how quickly you are coming toward it. Suddenly, before you can inhale a breath, you have rushed upon it, and gone into it. A bright shatter of light steals your sight for just a moment, but quickly reveals that your are standing inside the great sparkling sphere, peering around in questioning awe, bewildered and amazed at where you are and what you are seeing.

Never before have your eyes seen so many blinding colors. Flashing and dancing, they perform a beautiful dance, weaving around you, above you, below you; spinning a complex web of brilliance, they seem to never grow tired of this indescribeable display.

You realize now that you are standing. Not knowing what you are standing on (if anything) you look down to see swirls of color looking up at you. Turning to look to your left, you strain to see beyond the dazzling light show into the vast deepness. There, about a hundred yards away or so, you see the other orb: red, glowing, spinning, flickering in the night sky. Taking a step toward the side of the star-like jewel you are in, the colors fade and move out of your way. Your hand reaches out and you are suddenly floating through space.

October 18, 2005

Re-Post from Ferret

I was looking over random Blogs just now and happened upon this one. I thought I'd post an article that I found extremely intriguing and comical. Enjoy.

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Thursday, October 13, 2005
Discovery Channel and Cookie Cutters

Sometimes, I wonder how man is made. I mean, I understand how the first man was made – God took a clump of dirt and turned him into Adam. How bad*** is THAT! The Lord straight up picked up dirt from the ground and breathed life into a fully-functional, breathing homeboy. That’s stuff you can’t even see on the Discovery Channel. (On a side note: God is obviously THE Amazing One, but the Discovery Channel is probably the second most amazing thing in this world. Last week, I saw a high-definition documentary of killer ants running around in a remote Amazon forest attacking and devouring full-grown deer. How do the people who make the show know where these antihills exactly are? Do they have a dedicated ant-man photographer whose life is dedicated to finding the biggest killer ant underground colony? And evidently, these killer ants have been known to kill people – so isn’t it a good idea to stay away or at least be armed with a keg-sized barrel of extra-strength Raid? They need to have a Discovery Channel documentary on the Discovery Channel itself. Seriously.)
But back to God – I kind of wonder how he decides what each face is going to look like. I mean, for sure, 99 out of a 100 times, the face is going to have two eyes, two ears, a nose and a mouth. But how does he decide specifically what each face is going to look like? Can’t you imagine him on something like a heavenly computer, drawing up each face on Photoshop in His infinite wisdom? Or if He’s less technologically inclined, just molding each face out of clay au naturel with His loving hands?

I mention this, because it's evident that I have the most common Asian face in the world. I’m not particularly bothered by it – God made the face so I can’t really complain I guess, even though I wouldn’t mind if it bore more resemblance to Denzel Washington or someone like that. But I almost feel like my face was made out of the Typical Asian Heavenly Cookie Cutter Pan. Squinty, bespectacled eyes, no-bridge nose, indistinct mouth, slightly dumbo-ish ears… if I were a runaway criminal, I’d seriously never get caught. Can you imagine the police report?! “Please look out for a 5’9 Asian man with short spiky hair and glasses. ARMED AND DANGEROUS!” HAHAHA

Everyone knows somebody else who looks just like me. I always hear, “Omigosh, you sooo look like my cousin,” or “You totally remind me of this friend I have back at home.” If people were cars, I’d be a silver Honda Accord – every person knows an Asian who drives one. All this is all fine by me – I have enough self-evaluation skills to know that I’m not a particularly special or good-looking person. But my cookie-cutter face leads to some awkward situations.
For example, I went to a Chinese restaurant yesterday to take some food home and play some NCAA Football 2006. When I went to the register to pay, the Korean woman asked me how my grandfather was doing. That was odd because neither of my grandfathers had ever stepped foot in her restaurant before. I told her that she must be mistaking me for someone else.
But this lady wouldn’t believe me! “No no no, your grandfather comes here all the time. He’s very good customer!” It was a long day at work, my stomach was growling and my Heisman season was waiting for me at home - not surprisingly, I lost my patience. “Ajumah, one of my grandfathers passed away when my dad was eleven. The other grandfather passed away ten years ago and never stepped foot in America. I might look like someone, but its not me!” (I think my eyes got all misty too because I envy other people who had their grandparents around growing up... but that's a whole nother story)
The woman looked extremely shocked and stared blankly at me. Then she cleared her throat and murmured, “Oh no… he passed away. Your sisters must be really sad – and he was such a good customer…” HAHAHAHAHAHA... unfreakingbelievable...

Maybe one day, all the people who look like me can get together and have an Asian Cookie-Cutter Face conference. We can get to know each other by playing goofy ice-breaker games, take pictures in various clone-like poses and have seminars on how to effectively deal with people who mistake you for someone else… I’m sure it’d be a blast.
But let’s get one thing straight - I don’t look like them... THEY look like ME!
President of ACCFA (Asian Cookie-Cutter Face Association)Chris 'JAYHOON! JAYHOON! *fists pumping in air*' Jung

posted by ferret at 9:31 PM 0 comments

October 11, 2005

CA

Yes, I'm in California. And like an idiot, I forgot my camera to show you all where I am staying. Oh well. Talk to you all soon.