May 21, 2007

the June bug.


I dislike June bugs... probably more than any other insect. They bat against the windows, buzz towards any light, and in my case, fly in open car windows to lounge on my dashboard.

I slammed on my breaks, put on my hazards and swiftly exited the car. There on my dashboard sat a fat, black, bumbling June bug with about as much intelligence as a grain of sand. My narrowed eyes watched it's every move as I reached into my back seat to grab a drum stick. Figuring I would smash it into oblivion so I could be on my way, I brought the stick down hard, but only succeeded in wounding it slightly... then, to make things worse, it stumbled down into my defrost vent were it remains to this day.

The next morning I found a black bird sitting on my winshield, pecking away as it had seen a tasty treat. Walking up to this bold, treat-seeking bird I was surprised that it didn't fly away. It looked at me, looked down, and continued it's hunt, jumping along the front of car as if in hot pursuit. I offered to open the door so he could go inside to get his lunch, but he turned me down and flew away. Darn.

I arrived back home a few hours later only to find the same bird waiting for me. He was a little confused, I must admit, as he was sitting on my sister's Saturn and not mine. I quickly motioned that he was looking in he wrong car, and he flew over to mine. I went inside to let him to his thing, and hoped that he would find that rouge June bug and leave me and my car in peace.

Well, I had assumed that the hunt had been succesful. But last night as I drove home, I heard a slight buzzing chirp coming from my defrost vent. Could it be that he had started a new life in my vent, and planned to raise a family there? I was hoping the air conditioning would drive him out, and perhaps it had only cooled, calmed, and invited him to stay.

Oh, what to do, what to do...