Blithering

Have you ever found yourself with a million tasks to accomplish... hardly any time to work with... and then suddenly you are in front of your computer, typing mindless blog postings and trying to forget how behind you are, how long it will take you to catch up, and pondering the fact that even though you've been to college you still write run-on sentences? I have.

Right now I am eating an organic banana, something I've been doing more often. The sticker on this banana showed two little people and said "Fair Trade Barter". I wonder what the Dole people gave the tribe who harvested these organic bananas... I have a feeling it wasn't a machete or some imported cloth to make clothes... it was probably some bottles of Coke, a few cases of Little Debbie snack cakes ("Oh, dearest Little Debbie - how my heart beats for your Valentine Snack Cakes!") and a case of Verizon cell phones.

Speaking of cell phones and remote tribes, I actually heard a true story about an interesting development in the jungles of some country I can't pronounce. These guys working with Samaritans Purse went to this jungle tribe to deliver shoeboxes. This tribe was so remote, so underdeveloped that the people didn't wear much clothing (especially the women - no tops... what was funny is that the women demanded a picture the one of the "missionaries" and wouldn't take no for an answer. I'm sure he was only slightly self conscious at that time.) Anyway, they were talking to this chief when all of a sudden a cell phone rang... the chief pulled out a cell phone and says, "Hello?"

Isn't it slightly strange for a village chief to have a cell phone? What would he say? Here are my guesses:

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"Yo, Poncho, what time are we raiding the Zubnak tribe? Was it 8 or 8:30? "

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"Hello? ....no! ... they didn't! ... you're best milking goat?!? "

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"Yeah.... hi... I'm calling from Botswana...... yeah... have our orders come in? The confirmation number? Sure: 839570099. ...yup, 38 tiny loin clothes... just curious, are those a 60/40 cotton lycra blend? Oooh, they're 80/20 cotton spandex? Cancel the order."

Wow... weird.

Moving on. This topic has nothing to do with anything, but it is still something I need to address. The issue? Brands. Instead of explaining what I mean, I'm just going to use examples.

1. Did you know what the brand "Daewoo" makes stereo systems... and cars? I'm pretty sure they make TVs and other electronic equiptment, too. That is weird to me.

2. Did you know that if you take the word "Sun" and add any word onto the end, you have a brandname? Try it. Sunbelt, Sungrain, Suntree, Sunbeam, Sunshine, Suntime, Sunkids, Sunsun, Suncave, Sunwrap, Sunsuit, Sunspray, Sunsound, Sunbolt, Sunread, Sunstick. See? Anything works! It's a miracle.

3. There is a 90% chance that the Sun-company that makes your granola bars also makes your dryer sheets.

4. Rainbow foods has it's own brand: Roundy's. In case you've never bought a Roundy's food item, there are some very destinct observations one can make regarding the cereal.
Box of Cereal: The is no front and back... just two fronts. Say goodbye to fun games and word mix-ups. Turn the box around to see... the cover.
Bags of cereal: The "tear here" thing is a load of crap. "Tear here" actually means, "TRY to tear here, and when you are pulling really hard the bag will explode all over your kitchen and your dog will run in the kitchen and eat all the cereal."

End of Blithering.