...and there's a 15-year-old girl in my bedroom. Don't worry, I'm not in the room with her, I'm next door in our office. But I can hear this faint coughing every once and a while and it's kind of eerie. Let me explain.
My Uncle's into violins. Every once and a while, he leaves the town of Remer, Minnesota (population 225) and stays with us here in the cities; usually so he can attend some violin extravaganza or Blue Grass yadda yadda yadda you get the point. Sometimes he sells the violins he builds, too. OK. So, apparently there was this girl who wanted to come with my uncle (from his church) to help him sell his violins and listen to the Blue Grass music. The catch was, she needed somewhere to sleep. My house, although adequately sized, sleeps the amount of people it was designed for: four or five... so now we have my family, my uncle, a cousin, and this girl - all needing a place to sleep. Obviously you can't put all three in the same room, so the girl was given my room.
I was driving home at around 12:30AM when I remembered her. My mind stopped short and I was suddenly annoyed... there was a stranger, not only inhabiting my room, but WRAPPED in my blankets! MY blankets! To make matters worse, I had just received a brand new blanket for my bed. It was dark blue and made of Velux material. For those of you who don't know what that material is, it's the type of blankets they use in hotels... kind of short and furry-ish.... weird, I don't like that description. Nevermind.
12:54PM:
I walk into my house and down the upstairs hall. My door is open. I don't want to peer in in case she's in there peering out, so I quietly start my end-of-the-day grooming... then I find a note.
Jeremy,
You are sleeping in the office tonight. There are some clothes in there already. Goodnight!
Love, Mom
1:04AM:
I walk into our tiny office. Three cushions are laid on the floor with a sleeping bag on top. Some miscellaneous clothes are folded and lay on my pillow. I sigh and put on my pajamas. Climbing into the sleeping bag I find that not only do I have to balance on the cushions so I don't roll off either side, but I'm too LONG for the sleeping bag... I don't fit! Great.
3:30AM
It's pitch black but my bladder is beckoning me to the bathroom. I struggle while trying to pull myself out of the sleeping bag and then accidentally roll off. Dang it! I finally get up and feel my way to the office door. Just as my hand finds the doornob, the knob slowly begins to twist in my hand. I pull my hand away and try to think clearly. Someone is coming into the office. I step to the side as the door opens. Finding myself wedged between the door and the wall, I breath heavily. Then comes a sound... it's a quiet yet distinctively familiar cough. It's her.
What in the heck is she doing?
Is she lost?
Does she think this is the bathroom....?
AGH!........
*Let me confess. The last paragraph is NOT true. All of the story except this part was real, but I was getting bored. My apologies.
Anywho, long story short there was a 15-year-old girl in my room. Some of my friends who know the story refer to her and "15-year-old" and it's kind of become an inside joke...
"Oooh, 15-year-old."
(STORY STARTED MARCH 5, 2005)
March 26, 2005
March 25, 2005
Land Before Time XXIV : New Beginnings
Your favorite characters are back! Petrea, Sarah, Little Foot and the rest of the gang deliver big for more wacky prehistoric fun! Along with the classic characters come new faces and personalities including Chica, the South-Central American Wombat; and Joseraptor, an Asian-pacific Islander Raptor. Nikko, the mildly-tempered and open-minded Sea Turtle, proves that slow water animals are people too, and that through understanding, those with open minds can get along with dinosaurs of any race. The last new character, Jesse, is a dinosaur mix, often made fun of... he is called names like 'Half-Claw,' 'Sir Mix-a-breed' and 'Prehistoric Soup Boy'.
The storyline follows the last 23 movies, but adds a new twist towards the end that audiences of all ages with adore. The basic storyline goes a little like this: Nikko and Joser (nickname) are always fighting. Joser can't seem to understand why Nikko is so slow moving. He teases him incessantly, ignoring Nikko's feelings and making him feel bad for only having one Sea-Parent. Nishi, Nikko's Sea-Parent, is a Long Neck who adopted Nikko after his parents were killed in a stampede in The Great Valley. Even though Nishi can't actually go into the water, the two love spending time together.
In a very touching scene towards the end of the movie, the group of friends is gathered around a blazing fire, singing a medley of uplifting songs. One song, entitled "Friends across the Plain" has meaningful words that every parent wants their child to hear. Here's a snippet:
"La la la, friends we are
La la la, sent from far
Are differences are one, for sure
We love and respect each other, for sure
We help each other grow and learn,
Our spirits soar with the golden sun,
With one heart together, we sing
La la la, friends for sure."
This song is only one of the many life-enriching musical numbers throughout the movie. Others include (but aren't limited to:) Friends Rrrrr Family, Our Strengths United; Differences Abandoned, and Beauty Through Acceptance.
In the last few scenes comes a surprise worth waiting for. One of the characters, Nikko, finds the coveted Magic Treestar, which has supernatural and peaceful powers to transport and / or unite people. After Nikko holds up the Treestar to his heart and whispers the Magic Phrase over and over (Friends for ever! Friends for ever!) he and all the gang is transported to...... the middle of New York City! That's right - it's all just a wild set up for the next movie: Land Before Time XXV: Lost in New York. Any movie lover will find these adventures even more wild, crazy and heart-warming than the previous 24 films. The basic synopsis of THIS movie is creative beyond words! The entire gang finds themselves in fun-loving perils like being lost in the NYC subway system or sneaking into a play and then getting kicked out! Other wacky, original moments include the never-seen-before-in-a-movie sleeping in central park and then getting chased by a cop on a horse! The last scene of the movie happens in a crazy taxi ride! They tell the immigrant driver they want go to the HOTEL but he thinks they said BOAT-EL (a popular boating attraction). The whole group ends up falling off the boat and swimming back in time to The Great Valley! They dry off around another blazing fire, arms around each other, swaying back and forth and singing another classic, "Home is Where we Belong, Loving Each Other Forever United... in Harmony".
The storyline follows the last 23 movies, but adds a new twist towards the end that audiences of all ages with adore. The basic storyline goes a little like this: Nikko and Joser (nickname) are always fighting. Joser can't seem to understand why Nikko is so slow moving. He teases him incessantly, ignoring Nikko's feelings and making him feel bad for only having one Sea-Parent. Nishi, Nikko's Sea-Parent, is a Long Neck who adopted Nikko after his parents were killed in a stampede in The Great Valley. Even though Nishi can't actually go into the water, the two love spending time together.
In a very touching scene towards the end of the movie, the group of friends is gathered around a blazing fire, singing a medley of uplifting songs. One song, entitled "Friends across the Plain" has meaningful words that every parent wants their child to hear. Here's a snippet:
"La la la, friends we are
La la la, sent from far
Are differences are one, for sure
We love and respect each other, for sure
We help each other grow and learn,
Our spirits soar with the golden sun,
With one heart together, we sing
La la la, friends for sure."
This song is only one of the many life-enriching musical numbers throughout the movie. Others include (but aren't limited to:) Friends Rrrrr Family, Our Strengths United; Differences Abandoned, and Beauty Through Acceptance.
In the last few scenes comes a surprise worth waiting for. One of the characters, Nikko, finds the coveted Magic Treestar, which has supernatural and peaceful powers to transport and / or unite people. After Nikko holds up the Treestar to his heart and whispers the Magic Phrase over and over (Friends for ever! Friends for ever!) he and all the gang is transported to...... the middle of New York City! That's right - it's all just a wild set up for the next movie: Land Before Time XXV: Lost in New York. Any movie lover will find these adventures even more wild, crazy and heart-warming than the previous 24 films. The basic synopsis of THIS movie is creative beyond words! The entire gang finds themselves in fun-loving perils like being lost in the NYC subway system or sneaking into a play and then getting kicked out! Other wacky, original moments include the never-seen-before-in-a-movie sleeping in central park and then getting chased by a cop on a horse! The last scene of the movie happens in a crazy taxi ride! They tell the immigrant driver they want go to the HOTEL but he thinks they said BOAT-EL (a popular boating attraction). The whole group ends up falling off the boat and swimming back in time to The Great Valley! They dry off around another blazing fire, arms around each other, swaying back and forth and singing another classic, "Home is Where we Belong, Loving Each Other Forever United... in Harmony".
March 19, 2005
 3 19 2005 12 45 44 PM1.jpg)
March 18, 2005
March 17, 2005
The day I left...
...was cloudy. It was too cold or too hot or too rainy or too windy or something like that. Anyway, I left.
There are days in life when all I want to do is leave. To go somewhere where I've been a thousand times; but never really been there. It's a place where a west wind always blows, but just hard enough to make noise through the tall grass. The tall grass would line a dirt road that would be walking on. It would be just be me, the wind, and my thoughts.
In that place where I'm walking, I can see to my left, far, across a field. It's a light green field, with tall soft grass. The wind blows patters and waves over the grass and the rythm it creates makes me stare.
Straight ahead is a lake. It would be small - but not too small. And there's an old tree right out ahead with it's branches hanging in the cool water. There aren't any water bugs or mucky ducks in this pond. It's somehow a flowing lake, a lake with moving water... always cool, clean moving water. To my left the road curves and a hill slopes upward. An anciet fence only half standing watches me silently, it's broken cross beams sleep quietly on the ground. I think about how long the fence post has lay there, but just for a moment.
Nothing in this place is confusing. There's nothing that makes me nervous or wonder too hard about stupid thing... things like, What am I doing with my life? or Where will I be in 10 years? or Who am I going to marry?... or even things like What time is it? or Am I supposed to know that? In this place there is only an endless amount of time to think and be sure of things.. I don't have to wonder about anything. I can be sure of what I'm sure of, and not think about what I'm not. I can breath the fresh wind and exhale nothing but a clear-thought-out nothingness. The air coming out is just as fresh as when it came in. Mmm.
And when I want, it's sunset. And the sun will sit right over the moving lake, and the cool wind will tease me. I can look right at the sunset, and don't see spots. I can think about every detal of the land, the way the sun soaks into the hills, the way the sunshine dances on the water, and the way I sit in the warm evening sun.
And when I feel like it, it's night. But the night isn't solitude, it's comfort. And when I lay on the soft hill, a deep warm sense of security overwhelmes me and wraps me up into sleep - a sleep so deep that even my dreams have dreams.
And when I feel like it, it's sunrise. And if I feel like it the sunrise can last a minute or a day. If I lie in the sun for hours, I don't get too hot. I stay cool and warm and sunny all at the same time.
And I can shed a tear when I'm feeling emotional, or laugh out loud with a satisfyingly good memory. I can act like I'm the actor in a play, or the singer in a song. My voice is beautiful, rich and full. I can sing and sing and sing and never get tired. I can write songs and really appreciate my ability because I'm not singing for anyone but me.
After sitting down by the old tree for a while, I can slip into the water and swim in the clarity of cool, deep thought - I wouldn't have to come up for air ever, I could lay at the bottom staring through the clear flowing water to the sun up above... and still feel its warmth. And after I came back out of the water, I would be dry... (because I don't like to be wet unless I'm immersed in water.)
I don't think this place has a name, but it certainly does exist. I go there when I need to get away from here... from pure familiarity. If you haven't figured it out yet, this place is in my imagination... and unless there is some really creepy Willy Wonka-like process that will transform you into little bits, you have little hope of ever entering my imagination. Oh, and if you actually did enter my imagination, you would have a giant heart attack and my imagination friends would probably laugh at you and then turn into paramedics and try to resusitate you.
Someday I'll let the irrationally psyco side of my imagination write.. but it's hard to keep it under control so I don't let it out too often.
There are days in life when all I want to do is leave. To go somewhere where I've been a thousand times; but never really been there. It's a place where a west wind always blows, but just hard enough to make noise through the tall grass. The tall grass would line a dirt road that would be walking on. It would be just be me, the wind, and my thoughts.
In that place where I'm walking, I can see to my left, far, across a field. It's a light green field, with tall soft grass. The wind blows patters and waves over the grass and the rythm it creates makes me stare.
Straight ahead is a lake. It would be small - but not too small. And there's an old tree right out ahead with it's branches hanging in the cool water. There aren't any water bugs or mucky ducks in this pond. It's somehow a flowing lake, a lake with moving water... always cool, clean moving water. To my left the road curves and a hill slopes upward. An anciet fence only half standing watches me silently, it's broken cross beams sleep quietly on the ground. I think about how long the fence post has lay there, but just for a moment.
Nothing in this place is confusing. There's nothing that makes me nervous or wonder too hard about stupid thing... things like, What am I doing with my life? or Where will I be in 10 years? or Who am I going to marry?... or even things like What time is it? or Am I supposed to know that? In this place there is only an endless amount of time to think and be sure of things.. I don't have to wonder about anything. I can be sure of what I'm sure of, and not think about what I'm not. I can breath the fresh wind and exhale nothing but a clear-thought-out nothingness. The air coming out is just as fresh as when it came in. Mmm.
And when I want, it's sunset. And the sun will sit right over the moving lake, and the cool wind will tease me. I can look right at the sunset, and don't see spots. I can think about every detal of the land, the way the sun soaks into the hills, the way the sunshine dances on the water, and the way I sit in the warm evening sun.
And when I feel like it, it's night. But the night isn't solitude, it's comfort. And when I lay on the soft hill, a deep warm sense of security overwhelmes me and wraps me up into sleep - a sleep so deep that even my dreams have dreams.
And when I feel like it, it's sunrise. And if I feel like it the sunrise can last a minute or a day. If I lie in the sun for hours, I don't get too hot. I stay cool and warm and sunny all at the same time.
And I can shed a tear when I'm feeling emotional, or laugh out loud with a satisfyingly good memory. I can act like I'm the actor in a play, or the singer in a song. My voice is beautiful, rich and full. I can sing and sing and sing and never get tired. I can write songs and really appreciate my ability because I'm not singing for anyone but me.
After sitting down by the old tree for a while, I can slip into the water and swim in the clarity of cool, deep thought - I wouldn't have to come up for air ever, I could lay at the bottom staring through the clear flowing water to the sun up above... and still feel its warmth. And after I came back out of the water, I would be dry... (because I don't like to be wet unless I'm immersed in water.)
I don't think this place has a name, but it certainly does exist. I go there when I need to get away from here... from pure familiarity. If you haven't figured it out yet, this place is in my imagination... and unless there is some really creepy Willy Wonka-like process that will transform you into little bits, you have little hope of ever entering my imagination. Oh, and if you actually did enter my imagination, you would have a giant heart attack and my imagination friends would probably laugh at you and then turn into paramedics and try to resusitate you.
Someday I'll let the irrationally psyco side of my imagination write.. but it's hard to keep it under control so I don't let it out too often.
March 10, 2005
Krunchy Kookie
Hello friends! Hello enemies! Hello Mary Perez! (You'll all understand that in a couple of days.) Welcome to my NEW authentic Asian Restauraunte (don't you like the way I spelled that?) I have named it
KungKookie's Asian Buffet and Small Person Feed Trough.
My specialty is 4tune Kukies... as you can see, I've renamed them to reflect my authentic Asian background and original creativeness! Mmm! Aren't you just cravin' for a 4tune Kukie?
Since you are all invited as VIPS whenever you come to my restauraunte, I'm going to let you in on a pre-internet visit to read some of the 4tunes you might find in your 4tune Kukie. I know many times in REGULAR, generic, non-creative Fortune Cookies, you might find Asian-type sayings, Chinese quips, and lucky numbers... what nonsense! At KungKookie's Asian Buffet and Small Person Feed Trough, our 4tune Kukies are filled with real-life information that can help you live each day! They may inspire you, or make you think... they may just be a bit of good-sense information. 4tune Kukies are made special, to help you learn how to be a better, more Asian person... to let your inner Sushi-eater get out it's chopsticks and say, "Kung Foo!"
Kukie Sample #1
"He who has the last laugh always laughs the hardest."
Kukie Sample #2
"Learn Chinese! 'Pao tang ufono eep chung chung tatty kat.' You're a pro! You just said, 'Gimme some more of that Sangchao Fish! It takes yummy!' "
Kukie Sample #3
"Real-Life Fact #855: Six out of eight African American males will do prison time at least once in their lifetime... why hide the truth!"
Kukie Sample #4
"World questionnaire: Why do really fat women always wear navy blue or black stretchpants? And what is that bag-type thing that hangs down...you know, it's under the stomach but sits on the legs? Are they storing nuts and berries for winter? ...more like they're storing cantaloupes and watermelons."
Kukie Sample #5
"You've got an Apolokukie! All it is is an apology for a 4tune Kukie that has offended you."
Kukie Sample #6
"Learn Chinese! 'Fao tan cheep nop, sainhe yip yan yan! Chu ke nup Suni nao pancheko!' You're a pro! You just said, "Dang it! Why is my phone bill so high!? I only called Suni once, not twice!"
Kukie Sample #7
"Real Life Fact #102: You are a disappointment to your family. Grandpa Chao-Ling is the only one whose eyes find favor with you."
Kukie Sample #8
"World questionnaire: Just because someone is Asian doesn't NECESSARILY mean they know how to re-route a modem bypass network or to make tiny unnecessary toys from scratch. It DOES mean that they can take pictures of you using their Kodak camera and hold up the "peace" sign to make you laugh while wearing a super shiny pink backpack with Britney Spears on it."
Kukie Sample #9
"You've got an Apolokukie! The 4tune Kukie Kompany Ink. would like to sincerely apologize for any of our kukies that may have offended you or someone you know or someone of Asian decent."
THAT'S JUST A SNAPSHOT OF SOME OF OUR GREAT KUKIES! I hope you will join me as my new restauaunte opens on _____ __TH, 20__. I'll soon post a Ku-pon so you can get a GREAT deal the first time you come in and dine.
Have a Kuk-tastic DAY!
PS... Oh my gosh what have I written.
KungKookie's Asian Buffet and Small Person Feed Trough.
My specialty is 4tune Kukies... as you can see, I've renamed them to reflect my authentic Asian background and original creativeness! Mmm! Aren't you just cravin' for a 4tune Kukie?
Since you are all invited as VIPS whenever you come to my restauraunte, I'm going to let you in on a pre-internet visit to read some of the 4tunes you might find in your 4tune Kukie. I know many times in REGULAR, generic, non-creative Fortune Cookies, you might find Asian-type sayings, Chinese quips, and lucky numbers... what nonsense! At KungKookie's Asian Buffet and Small Person Feed Trough, our 4tune Kukies are filled with real-life information that can help you live each day! They may inspire you, or make you think... they may just be a bit of good-sense information. 4tune Kukies are made special, to help you learn how to be a better, more Asian person... to let your inner Sushi-eater get out it's chopsticks and say, "Kung Foo!"
Kukie Sample #1
"He who has the last laugh always laughs the hardest."
Kukie Sample #2
"Learn Chinese! 'Pao tang ufono eep chung chung tatty kat.' You're a pro! You just said, 'Gimme some more of that Sangchao Fish! It takes yummy!' "
Kukie Sample #3
"Real-Life Fact #855: Six out of eight African American males will do prison time at least once in their lifetime... why hide the truth!"
Kukie Sample #4
"World questionnaire: Why do really fat women always wear navy blue or black stretchpants? And what is that bag-type thing that hangs down...you know, it's under the stomach but sits on the legs? Are they storing nuts and berries for winter? ...more like they're storing cantaloupes and watermelons."
Kukie Sample #5
"You've got an Apolokukie! All it is is an apology for a 4tune Kukie that has offended you."
Kukie Sample #6
"Learn Chinese! 'Fao tan cheep nop, sainhe yip yan yan! Chu ke nup Suni nao pancheko!' You're a pro! You just said, "Dang it! Why is my phone bill so high!? I only called Suni once, not twice!"
Kukie Sample #7
"Real Life Fact #102: You are a disappointment to your family. Grandpa Chao-Ling is the only one whose eyes find favor with you."
Kukie Sample #8
"World questionnaire: Just because someone is Asian doesn't NECESSARILY mean they know how to re-route a modem bypass network or to make tiny unnecessary toys from scratch. It DOES mean that they can take pictures of you using their Kodak camera and hold up the "peace" sign to make you laugh while wearing a super shiny pink backpack with Britney Spears on it."
Kukie Sample #9
"You've got an Apolokukie! The 4tune Kukie Kompany Ink. would like to sincerely apologize for any of our kukies that may have offended you or someone you know or someone of Asian decent."
THAT'S JUST A SNAPSHOT OF SOME OF OUR GREAT KUKIES! I hope you will join me as my new restauaunte opens on _____ __TH, 20__. I'll soon post a Ku-pon so you can get a GREAT deal the first time you come in and dine.
Have a Kuk-tastic DAY!
PS... Oh my gosh what have I written.
March 09, 2005
GOSH! I'M FLIPPIN SORRY!
I PROMISE there are actual blogs on the way... I have FOUR that I'm working on simultaneously, so one will be posted for sure by tommorrow night.
It's going to be about fortune cookies, so you'll want to check back soon!
Fo Shizzle,
Jeremy
It's going to be about fortune cookies, so you'll want to check back soon!
Fo Shizzle,
Jeremy
March 08, 2005
Mary Perez
This post has been laying around my backoffice, taking up memory...
_____________________________________________________________
July 15, 2004
*RIIIIIING....RIIIIIIING......*
"Hello?"
(A really nasal annoying fuzzy voice) "MARY PEREZ?"
"What?"
"Mary Per-ez? Is that you? I'm calling for a Mary Perez."
I'm confused.
"Uh, I don't know who that is... you have the wrong phone number."
"There's no Mary Perez here? Mary Perez?"
"NO." Now I'm getting ticked...and gosh, how many more times could she say 'Mary Perez'?
July 21, 2004:
Same thing as above.
July 31; August 4,6,7,16,18,29:
Same thing as above.
WHO IS MARY PEREZ?
If you know who she is, email me. If you have any idea who this is... please, PLEASE let me know. Why am I so eager to get to know this Mary Perez? Simply because I believe her to be my soulmate.
"With Love" a poem by Jeremy Dahlen to future wife, Mary... the love of my life.
"Oh Mary, your gentle face,
Caresses my eyes with ocean spray.
You're deep stare, reels me in on your
fishing pole of love.
You're crisp attitude welds me
To the ring I wear.
Undying,
Unbroken,
Unleashed... our Love."
_____________________________________________________________
July 15, 2004
*RIIIIIING....RIIIIIIING......*
"Hello?"
(A really nasal annoying fuzzy voice) "MARY PEREZ?"
"What?"
"Mary Per-ez? Is that you? I'm calling for a Mary Perez."
I'm confused.
"Uh, I don't know who that is... you have the wrong phone number."
"There's no Mary Perez here? Mary Perez?"
"NO." Now I'm getting ticked...and gosh, how many more times could she say 'Mary Perez'?
July 21, 2004:
Same thing as above.
July 31; August 4,6,7,16,18,29:
Same thing as above.
WHO IS MARY PEREZ?
If you know who she is, email me. If you have any idea who this is... please, PLEASE let me know. Why am I so eager to get to know this Mary Perez? Simply because I believe her to be my soulmate.
"With Love" a poem by Jeremy Dahlen to future wife, Mary... the love of my life.
"Oh Mary, your gentle face,
Caresses my eyes with ocean spray.
You're deep stare, reels me in on your
fishing pole of love.
You're crisp attitude welds me
To the ring I wear.
Undying,
Unbroken,
Unleashed... our Love."
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