Today I went to the Eye Doctor, Dr. Melissa. Before I went in for the actual contact exam, I was put through the classic eye tests... Including the infamous "You'll feel a slight puff of air in your eye" test. Do you know which one I'm talking about? I HATE that one! You put your forehead against this metal rod and your chin sits in this little chin dish. Then you stare directly at a little green dot. After explaining that a "slight puff" with be shot directly into my open eye, I start to quiver. My eyes know what's coming, so they want to blink. I try to keep them open so they get dry which makes me want to blink even more. Anyway, first a piece of the machine moves in really close to your eye with this machine-type whirring noise... then it back away (apparently it's measuring your vision somehow) then when you least expect it, a cold blast of air is shot into your eye... and your whole head violently explodes from it's resting space, making you look like a scared animal. I hate that air machine. And every year it nails me... not this time.
Poem to an Air Machine:
I've seen the way you look at me,
Whirring... shaking... Observing and measuring my possibibilities for Glaucoma.
Never looking away you gaze... Unwavering, unquestioning, unnerving.
Undeniable and necessary, yet cold and scary.
You get so close, oh so close, then back away.
I look eagerly into your one green eye and you...
Blow me off.
Why do you ignore my longings to view you?
Have you ever wondered why you reject me every year?
Each year is colder, stronger, more blowier.
I miss you.
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Confession #278: I love the group 4Him.
"Nice soft-ware, Ste-Phe-nie!" -Number 5
3 comments:
Lovely, just lovely.
Jeremy, I too went to the eye doctor last week. I remember the said "green dot test", but not the puff. They didn't warn be, and I didn't notice. That's weird.
What does stress me out is when they have you compare your vision between 2 lenses...."lens one, or lens 2"...and I'm like "I don't know!!!!". I have to remind myself there's no right answer.
And - the best part of the eye dr, - the good old dilator drops, which causes you to exit the doctors office shrieking "too bright!".
Ask me for my impression of the lady giving me the tests, by the way. :)
Jeremy, you are nuts. You write poems to eye-testing machinery. (But it's ok, I practice speaking BEngali in the mirror, so we're even.)
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