Versailles

I've decided to take it back a few years... back to the good old days of high school at Jefferson. There, in tenth grade, I attended Spanish I, taught by the distinguished (and often tardy) Mr. Versailles.

As someone who has never really spoken any other languages well, I wasn't looking forward to Spanish. I have no interest in learning foreign languages, and don't really care about too many foreign places or cultures. (Oops) I wanted this class to be easy, straightforward, and fun.

*One month into the class...*

Jason, a 150-pound Asian ghetto kid, is pounding on the type-A, I-did-my-homework-through-my-freshman-year-in-college, nerd kid who sits next to him. "Dude, das piomp!" shouts Jason as he hits the kid in the shoulder again. He has just received his newly finished homework from the poor nerd kid, who is cowering in his desk, nervously laughing and pretending that he isn't seeing his entire life (which includes his insect and stamp collections) flashing before his very eyes. Mr Versialles, who stands less than three feet away with his back toward us, continues on without a hitch. He has no idea that Jason is pounding (and has been pounding) the kid next to him for the entire class period (and the entire quarter).

If you didn't understand when Jason yelled, "Das piomp!" I'll explain it. What he was really saying was "That is pimp" - pimp meaning "cool" (for those of you over 30). Jason loved to say "That's pimp" but couldn't say it normally since his ghetto side was aching to get out. "Dasss piomp!" suited him much better.

So for the entire semester, Jason pounded nerd kid right in front of me. I couldn't say anything, lest I be next on his piomp list. I sat and tried to listen, while repeating phrases like "Yo estoy una amigo" and "Estoy laguna una bamboona". (OK I got that last one from Dr. Suess.) Every few days we would watch a video that was totally in Spanish. No one in the class (except like two smart kids) understood what was going on. So we would either sleep, or wish we were with Consuela, the 13-year-old girl in the capitol city of Mexico, eating a delicioso pastry with her grandmother.

"Dear Mr. Versailles,

I just wanted to write you a quick note to let you know how much I learned in Spanish I. It was SOOOOOO helpful when you got to class about 15 minutes late every day (and especially the time when the principle was waiting for you outside your room.) It was so considerate of you to make us watch movies that were totally in Spanish. It would have also aided us if you would have just stuffed us in a box and shipped us to Mexico with all of the exported illegal aliens so that we could have learned much more in a realistic setting.

Thanks for caring for each of us as real people, not just grades in your grade book. Nerd kid in front of me is probably so glad that he now has the opportunity to work through mountains of issues in counseling, since you took the time to notice him and his situation.

Hopefully I will see you again, Mr. V!

Awdeos,

Jeremy
Spanish I, 2001