March 18, 2005
March 17, 2005
The day I left...
...was cloudy. It was too cold or too hot or too rainy or too windy or something like that. Anyway, I left.
There are days in life when all I want to do is leave. To go somewhere where I've been a thousand times; but never really been there. It's a place where a west wind always blows, but just hard enough to make noise through the tall grass. The tall grass would line a dirt road that would be walking on. It would be just be me, the wind, and my thoughts.
In that place where I'm walking, I can see to my left, far, across a field. It's a light green field, with tall soft grass. The wind blows patters and waves over the grass and the rythm it creates makes me stare.
Straight ahead is a lake. It would be small - but not too small. And there's an old tree right out ahead with it's branches hanging in the cool water. There aren't any water bugs or mucky ducks in this pond. It's somehow a flowing lake, a lake with moving water... always cool, clean moving water. To my left the road curves and a hill slopes upward. An anciet fence only half standing watches me silently, it's broken cross beams sleep quietly on the ground. I think about how long the fence post has lay there, but just for a moment.
Nothing in this place is confusing. There's nothing that makes me nervous or wonder too hard about stupid thing... things like, What am I doing with my life? or Where will I be in 10 years? or Who am I going to marry?... or even things like What time is it? or Am I supposed to know that? In this place there is only an endless amount of time to think and be sure of things.. I don't have to wonder about anything. I can be sure of what I'm sure of, and not think about what I'm not. I can breath the fresh wind and exhale nothing but a clear-thought-out nothingness. The air coming out is just as fresh as when it came in. Mmm.
And when I want, it's sunset. And the sun will sit right over the moving lake, and the cool wind will tease me. I can look right at the sunset, and don't see spots. I can think about every detal of the land, the way the sun soaks into the hills, the way the sunshine dances on the water, and the way I sit in the warm evening sun.
And when I feel like it, it's night. But the night isn't solitude, it's comfort. And when I lay on the soft hill, a deep warm sense of security overwhelmes me and wraps me up into sleep - a sleep so deep that even my dreams have dreams.
And when I feel like it, it's sunrise. And if I feel like it the sunrise can last a minute or a day. If I lie in the sun for hours, I don't get too hot. I stay cool and warm and sunny all at the same time.
And I can shed a tear when I'm feeling emotional, or laugh out loud with a satisfyingly good memory. I can act like I'm the actor in a play, or the singer in a song. My voice is beautiful, rich and full. I can sing and sing and sing and never get tired. I can write songs and really appreciate my ability because I'm not singing for anyone but me.
After sitting down by the old tree for a while, I can slip into the water and swim in the clarity of cool, deep thought - I wouldn't have to come up for air ever, I could lay at the bottom staring through the clear flowing water to the sun up above... and still feel its warmth. And after I came back out of the water, I would be dry... (because I don't like to be wet unless I'm immersed in water.)
I don't think this place has a name, but it certainly does exist. I go there when I need to get away from here... from pure familiarity. If you haven't figured it out yet, this place is in my imagination... and unless there is some really creepy Willy Wonka-like process that will transform you into little bits, you have little hope of ever entering my imagination. Oh, and if you actually did enter my imagination, you would have a giant heart attack and my imagination friends would probably laugh at you and then turn into paramedics and try to resusitate you.
Someday I'll let the irrationally psyco side of my imagination write.. but it's hard to keep it under control so I don't let it out too often.
There are days in life when all I want to do is leave. To go somewhere where I've been a thousand times; but never really been there. It's a place where a west wind always blows, but just hard enough to make noise through the tall grass. The tall grass would line a dirt road that would be walking on. It would be just be me, the wind, and my thoughts.
In that place where I'm walking, I can see to my left, far, across a field. It's a light green field, with tall soft grass. The wind blows patters and waves over the grass and the rythm it creates makes me stare.
Straight ahead is a lake. It would be small - but not too small. And there's an old tree right out ahead with it's branches hanging in the cool water. There aren't any water bugs or mucky ducks in this pond. It's somehow a flowing lake, a lake with moving water... always cool, clean moving water. To my left the road curves and a hill slopes upward. An anciet fence only half standing watches me silently, it's broken cross beams sleep quietly on the ground. I think about how long the fence post has lay there, but just for a moment.
Nothing in this place is confusing. There's nothing that makes me nervous or wonder too hard about stupid thing... things like, What am I doing with my life? or Where will I be in 10 years? or Who am I going to marry?... or even things like What time is it? or Am I supposed to know that? In this place there is only an endless amount of time to think and be sure of things.. I don't have to wonder about anything. I can be sure of what I'm sure of, and not think about what I'm not. I can breath the fresh wind and exhale nothing but a clear-thought-out nothingness. The air coming out is just as fresh as when it came in. Mmm.
And when I want, it's sunset. And the sun will sit right over the moving lake, and the cool wind will tease me. I can look right at the sunset, and don't see spots. I can think about every detal of the land, the way the sun soaks into the hills, the way the sunshine dances on the water, and the way I sit in the warm evening sun.
And when I feel like it, it's night. But the night isn't solitude, it's comfort. And when I lay on the soft hill, a deep warm sense of security overwhelmes me and wraps me up into sleep - a sleep so deep that even my dreams have dreams.
And when I feel like it, it's sunrise. And if I feel like it the sunrise can last a minute or a day. If I lie in the sun for hours, I don't get too hot. I stay cool and warm and sunny all at the same time.
And I can shed a tear when I'm feeling emotional, or laugh out loud with a satisfyingly good memory. I can act like I'm the actor in a play, or the singer in a song. My voice is beautiful, rich and full. I can sing and sing and sing and never get tired. I can write songs and really appreciate my ability because I'm not singing for anyone but me.
After sitting down by the old tree for a while, I can slip into the water and swim in the clarity of cool, deep thought - I wouldn't have to come up for air ever, I could lay at the bottom staring through the clear flowing water to the sun up above... and still feel its warmth. And after I came back out of the water, I would be dry... (because I don't like to be wet unless I'm immersed in water.)
I don't think this place has a name, but it certainly does exist. I go there when I need to get away from here... from pure familiarity. If you haven't figured it out yet, this place is in my imagination... and unless there is some really creepy Willy Wonka-like process that will transform you into little bits, you have little hope of ever entering my imagination. Oh, and if you actually did enter my imagination, you would have a giant heart attack and my imagination friends would probably laugh at you and then turn into paramedics and try to resusitate you.
Someday I'll let the irrationally psyco side of my imagination write.. but it's hard to keep it under control so I don't let it out too often.
March 10, 2005
Krunchy Kookie
Hello friends! Hello enemies! Hello Mary Perez! (You'll all understand that in a couple of days.) Welcome to my NEW authentic Asian Restauraunte (don't you like the way I spelled that?) I have named it
KungKookie's Asian Buffet and Small Person Feed Trough.
My specialty is 4tune Kukies... as you can see, I've renamed them to reflect my authentic Asian background and original creativeness! Mmm! Aren't you just cravin' for a 4tune Kukie?
Since you are all invited as VIPS whenever you come to my restauraunte, I'm going to let you in on a pre-internet visit to read some of the 4tunes you might find in your 4tune Kukie. I know many times in REGULAR, generic, non-creative Fortune Cookies, you might find Asian-type sayings, Chinese quips, and lucky numbers... what nonsense! At KungKookie's Asian Buffet and Small Person Feed Trough, our 4tune Kukies are filled with real-life information that can help you live each day! They may inspire you, or make you think... they may just be a bit of good-sense information. 4tune Kukies are made special, to help you learn how to be a better, more Asian person... to let your inner Sushi-eater get out it's chopsticks and say, "Kung Foo!"
Kukie Sample #1
"He who has the last laugh always laughs the hardest."
Kukie Sample #2
"Learn Chinese! 'Pao tang ufono eep chung chung tatty kat.' You're a pro! You just said, 'Gimme some more of that Sangchao Fish! It takes yummy!' "
Kukie Sample #3
"Real-Life Fact #855: Six out of eight African American males will do prison time at least once in their lifetime... why hide the truth!"
Kukie Sample #4
"World questionnaire: Why do really fat women always wear navy blue or black stretchpants? And what is that bag-type thing that hangs down...you know, it's under the stomach but sits on the legs? Are they storing nuts and berries for winter? ...more like they're storing cantaloupes and watermelons."
Kukie Sample #5
"You've got an Apolokukie! All it is is an apology for a 4tune Kukie that has offended you."
Kukie Sample #6
"Learn Chinese! 'Fao tan cheep nop, sainhe yip yan yan! Chu ke nup Suni nao pancheko!' You're a pro! You just said, "Dang it! Why is my phone bill so high!? I only called Suni once, not twice!"
Kukie Sample #7
"Real Life Fact #102: You are a disappointment to your family. Grandpa Chao-Ling is the only one whose eyes find favor with you."
Kukie Sample #8
"World questionnaire: Just because someone is Asian doesn't NECESSARILY mean they know how to re-route a modem bypass network or to make tiny unnecessary toys from scratch. It DOES mean that they can take pictures of you using their Kodak camera and hold up the "peace" sign to make you laugh while wearing a super shiny pink backpack with Britney Spears on it."
Kukie Sample #9
"You've got an Apolokukie! The 4tune Kukie Kompany Ink. would like to sincerely apologize for any of our kukies that may have offended you or someone you know or someone of Asian decent."
THAT'S JUST A SNAPSHOT OF SOME OF OUR GREAT KUKIES! I hope you will join me as my new restauaunte opens on _____ __TH, 20__. I'll soon post a Ku-pon so you can get a GREAT deal the first time you come in and dine.
Have a Kuk-tastic DAY!
PS... Oh my gosh what have I written.
KungKookie's Asian Buffet and Small Person Feed Trough.
My specialty is 4tune Kukies... as you can see, I've renamed them to reflect my authentic Asian background and original creativeness! Mmm! Aren't you just cravin' for a 4tune Kukie?
Since you are all invited as VIPS whenever you come to my restauraunte, I'm going to let you in on a pre-internet visit to read some of the 4tunes you might find in your 4tune Kukie. I know many times in REGULAR, generic, non-creative Fortune Cookies, you might find Asian-type sayings, Chinese quips, and lucky numbers... what nonsense! At KungKookie's Asian Buffet and Small Person Feed Trough, our 4tune Kukies are filled with real-life information that can help you live each day! They may inspire you, or make you think... they may just be a bit of good-sense information. 4tune Kukies are made special, to help you learn how to be a better, more Asian person... to let your inner Sushi-eater get out it's chopsticks and say, "Kung Foo!"
Kukie Sample #1
"He who has the last laugh always laughs the hardest."
Kukie Sample #2
"Learn Chinese! 'Pao tang ufono eep chung chung tatty kat.' You're a pro! You just said, 'Gimme some more of that Sangchao Fish! It takes yummy!' "
Kukie Sample #3
"Real-Life Fact #855: Six out of eight African American males will do prison time at least once in their lifetime... why hide the truth!"
Kukie Sample #4
"World questionnaire: Why do really fat women always wear navy blue or black stretchpants? And what is that bag-type thing that hangs down...you know, it's under the stomach but sits on the legs? Are they storing nuts and berries for winter? ...more like they're storing cantaloupes and watermelons."
Kukie Sample #5
"You've got an Apolokukie! All it is is an apology for a 4tune Kukie that has offended you."
Kukie Sample #6
"Learn Chinese! 'Fao tan cheep nop, sainhe yip yan yan! Chu ke nup Suni nao pancheko!' You're a pro! You just said, "Dang it! Why is my phone bill so high!? I only called Suni once, not twice!"
Kukie Sample #7
"Real Life Fact #102: You are a disappointment to your family. Grandpa Chao-Ling is the only one whose eyes find favor with you."
Kukie Sample #8
"World questionnaire: Just because someone is Asian doesn't NECESSARILY mean they know how to re-route a modem bypass network or to make tiny unnecessary toys from scratch. It DOES mean that they can take pictures of you using their Kodak camera and hold up the "peace" sign to make you laugh while wearing a super shiny pink backpack with Britney Spears on it."
Kukie Sample #9
"You've got an Apolokukie! The 4tune Kukie Kompany Ink. would like to sincerely apologize for any of our kukies that may have offended you or someone you know or someone of Asian decent."
THAT'S JUST A SNAPSHOT OF SOME OF OUR GREAT KUKIES! I hope you will join me as my new restauaunte opens on _____ __TH, 20__. I'll soon post a Ku-pon so you can get a GREAT deal the first time you come in and dine.
Have a Kuk-tastic DAY!
PS... Oh my gosh what have I written.
March 09, 2005
GOSH! I'M FLIPPIN SORRY!
I PROMISE there are actual blogs on the way... I have FOUR that I'm working on simultaneously, so one will be posted for sure by tommorrow night.
It's going to be about fortune cookies, so you'll want to check back soon!
Fo Shizzle,
Jeremy
It's going to be about fortune cookies, so you'll want to check back soon!
Fo Shizzle,
Jeremy
March 08, 2005
Mary Perez
This post has been laying around my backoffice, taking up memory...
_____________________________________________________________
July 15, 2004
*RIIIIIING....RIIIIIIING......*
"Hello?"
(A really nasal annoying fuzzy voice) "MARY PEREZ?"
"What?"
"Mary Per-ez? Is that you? I'm calling for a Mary Perez."
I'm confused.
"Uh, I don't know who that is... you have the wrong phone number."
"There's no Mary Perez here? Mary Perez?"
"NO." Now I'm getting ticked...and gosh, how many more times could she say 'Mary Perez'?
July 21, 2004:
Same thing as above.
July 31; August 4,6,7,16,18,29:
Same thing as above.
WHO IS MARY PEREZ?
If you know who she is, email me. If you have any idea who this is... please, PLEASE let me know. Why am I so eager to get to know this Mary Perez? Simply because I believe her to be my soulmate.
"With Love" a poem by Jeremy Dahlen to future wife, Mary... the love of my life.
"Oh Mary, your gentle face,
Caresses my eyes with ocean spray.
You're deep stare, reels me in on your
fishing pole of love.
You're crisp attitude welds me
To the ring I wear.
Undying,
Unbroken,
Unleashed... our Love."
_____________________________________________________________
July 15, 2004
*RIIIIIING....RIIIIIIING......*
"Hello?"
(A really nasal annoying fuzzy voice) "MARY PEREZ?"
"What?"
"Mary Per-ez? Is that you? I'm calling for a Mary Perez."
I'm confused.
"Uh, I don't know who that is... you have the wrong phone number."
"There's no Mary Perez here? Mary Perez?"
"NO." Now I'm getting ticked...and gosh, how many more times could she say 'Mary Perez'?
July 21, 2004:
Same thing as above.
July 31; August 4,6,7,16,18,29:
Same thing as above.
WHO IS MARY PEREZ?
If you know who she is, email me. If you have any idea who this is... please, PLEASE let me know. Why am I so eager to get to know this Mary Perez? Simply because I believe her to be my soulmate.
"With Love" a poem by Jeremy Dahlen to future wife, Mary... the love of my life.
"Oh Mary, your gentle face,
Caresses my eyes with ocean spray.
You're deep stare, reels me in on your
fishing pole of love.
You're crisp attitude welds me
To the ring I wear.
Undying,
Unbroken,
Unleashed... our Love."
February 23, 2005
February 20, 2005
February 17, 2005
Stupids
I've come to the conclusion, after reading an article in Reader's Digest, that famous people were never meant to talk. They should just walk around being beautiful - but being silently beautiful - because the majority of them need to go back to kindergarten and learn how to be nice, they need to go back to high school and remember what it was like to be a normal, hormonal teenager, and they need to go back to college and actually go to class this time.
A picture of Jennifer Garner, smiling sweetly with a slightly tilted head (the Sear's pose) is posted next to her quote:
"It's not a bad thing, is it, to be strong in some ways and fragile and vulnerable in others?"
Yes, Jennifer, it's a very bad thing... naughty naughty girl! You must either be completely strong and robotic and iron-fisted or delicate and emotionaly fragile like a wilted honeydew colored chrysanthamum.
Lance Armstrong, famous athlete (duh,) said this in The London Times:
"When I was sick, I didn't want to die. When I race, I don't want to lose. Dying and losing, it's the same thing." *Sigh... wow. I don't think I'll ever get to that point in athletics... although most of you can attest to the fact that even though sometimes when I don't jump as high as I could on the trampoline, I don't ever EVER let it win! I get right back on that thing and whip it. I WILL NEVER FAIL!
Anyway...
This extremely deep, thought-provoking quote was from Matthew Perry:
"While this door is closing, another door is opening. It's our job to go find that door." I don't mean to be overly cynical folks, but haven't a million parents said that to their kids for as long as the earth has been in existence? I bet even before they had doors, people were saying it. I can picture young indian mother Wanatikitichi telling her depressed daughter, "When another hut falls over because we didn't make it right, another one will be made... right this time... and it won't fall over... hopefully."
Or what about, "While this door is closing, the back door is opening, because this door opening causes a suction in the house and opens the back door." I can picture my dad saying that.
Anyway, the question is, do celebrities think that these things are so original or so profound just becuause THEY thought them? and it should be RE-quoted and printed in the Reader's Digest? Whatever.
I'll end with this quote from Dolly Parton:
"It costs a lot of money to look this cheap."
We can all learn a lesson in self-value from this one.
A picture of Jennifer Garner, smiling sweetly with a slightly tilted head (the Sear's pose) is posted next to her quote:
"It's not a bad thing, is it, to be strong in some ways and fragile and vulnerable in others?"
Yes, Jennifer, it's a very bad thing... naughty naughty girl! You must either be completely strong and robotic and iron-fisted or delicate and emotionaly fragile like a wilted honeydew colored chrysanthamum.
Lance Armstrong, famous athlete (duh,) said this in The London Times:
"When I was sick, I didn't want to die. When I race, I don't want to lose. Dying and losing, it's the same thing." *Sigh... wow. I don't think I'll ever get to that point in athletics... although most of you can attest to the fact that even though sometimes when I don't jump as high as I could on the trampoline, I don't ever EVER let it win! I get right back on that thing and whip it. I WILL NEVER FAIL!
Anyway...
This extremely deep, thought-provoking quote was from Matthew Perry:
"While this door is closing, another door is opening. It's our job to go find that door." I don't mean to be overly cynical folks, but haven't a million parents said that to their kids for as long as the earth has been in existence? I bet even before they had doors, people were saying it. I can picture young indian mother Wanatikitichi telling her depressed daughter, "When another hut falls over because we didn't make it right, another one will be made... right this time... and it won't fall over... hopefully."
Or what about, "While this door is closing, the back door is opening, because this door opening causes a suction in the house and opens the back door." I can picture my dad saying that.
Anyway, the question is, do celebrities think that these things are so original or so profound just becuause THEY thought them? and it should be RE-quoted and printed in the Reader's Digest? Whatever.
I'll end with this quote from Dolly Parton:
"It costs a lot of money to look this cheap."
We can all learn a lesson in self-value from this one.
February 05, 2005
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