Do I Work Here?

I stood at a self-checkout yesterday at Cub and practically burst out laughing. As I was mid-scan through my orange juice the thought came to me… what am I doing?? I’m actually voluntarily becoming my own cashier and bagger! What are all these employees here for if I’m doing their job? Soon my imagination ran wild. I saw wild, hurried customers unloading their own groceries from the semi trucks, hauling out bushels of fruits and veggies, cartons of eggs, canisters of food. I look around the warehouse and find the different areas marked with large neon Cub-style signs. A man in a suit rushes over to the “Self-Unload” and dons his warehouse shirt, missing one button for the sake of saving time. A mother nearby scolds her whining children at the “Self-Produce Wash” for not properly washing the heads of lettuce. Across the room I notice my favorite area, the “Self-Stocker” section where busy (and lucky) men and women are actually stocking their own food on the shelves before tossing the apron, grabbing a cart, and then shopping for it.

I was once a fan of the Self-Checkout areas. Not any more. This epiphany has brought me to my senses. And I’m glad, too. I’m tired of that lady inside the machine yelling at me – and I’m tired of never knowing how to find the Roma tomatoes or organic bananas on the touch screen. AND I’m tired of feeling bad for the teenager at the “mother board,” watching all four machines with a yawn. She sighs and periodically helps a customer or two, usually the Chinese lady who pushed “Debit” instead of “Credit” while her husband chatters away about water crest nuts.

I will now wait in line like the regular customers. The time I think I am saving by using the Self-Checkout is just like the time that people think they save when using the Pay-by-Touch, apocalyptic, end-times machine... It is non-existent.