My Refining Fire.

"Fear not, Child, to go down into Egypt; for there I will make thee a great nation; I will go down with thee into Egypt; and I will also surely bring thee up again." [Genesis 46:3]

Stop trying to reason out your life and your spiritual existence, my friend. Stop over-thinking and over-analyzing. Stop pretending that God is uninterested and abandon your heart to the reality of it's desire - to know and experience God in the very depth of your being. Stop trying to conjure up some far-fetched reasoning that shouts out your pain and projects your sin onto the blameless hands of Christ. This reasoning can't even stand on it's own two feet and will surely fail if it is not abandoned in Egypt and left there to die. Throw up your hands, accept your reality, and step into your fire.

Welcome to the furnace.

What is your refining fire, friend? Subtract your hundreds of christian words and snazzy catch-phrases. Subtract your thought-out answers and empty prayer-requests and find yourself face to face with what is real. The mirror. Stare your refining fire in the face, ask for God's strength -which he eagerly gives - and then step into it and be consumed.

Avoid your fire, my friend, and you will always stand quite close by, pacing nervously and worriedly, hoping that no one will catch sight of the glow of your blaze over the hill and come to check it out. You will find the fire growing, and then realize that you are the one that has been throwing on the logs. And as the fire gets hotter, you begin to get a little burned, but not hurt enough to cause you to do something necessary to change it, to get the fire out.

Your refining fire is the only thing that will drive you to Jesus. The truth is, your refining fire is a gift - a precious gift that holds in it's fragile hands the knowledge of God. Though many call the gift a curse, it is a blessing. Though many of your fellow believers look down on you and think shaming thoughts about your smoldering logs, Jesus looks down and sees a fragrant offering. Embrace your fire, friend. Step in and be reborn.

It has taken me years to let my walls down before God (meaning trust him) and tentatively step into my fire. Last year I put one foot in and it caused great discomfort... but great life. Recently I have decided to submit myself completely to my refining fire, jump in, and be consumed.

My refining fire is homosexuality and my struggle with it. It is the only thing that will truly drive me deep into the heart of God. I can bitch about it, I can complain about it, and whine about it, and pretend that I don't deal with it. I can cry about it and waste years shaking my fist at a thousand people. Or, I can throw in the towel, accept the reality of my sin and struggle, and step into the furnace.

"Dill is not threshed with a threshing instrument, neither is a cart wheel turned about upon the cummin; but dill is beaten out with a staff, and the cummin with a rod. Bread corn is bruised, but no one crushes it forever..." [Isaiah 28:27-28]

Step into the fire, friend, and it is if a whole gallon of gasoline has walked in with you. This is a characteristic of fire. It burns tall and bright for a short time, but will always at some point quiet itself and smolder until the logs and ashes have cooled. The furnace is not forever. The furnace is the beginning.

"This is not unto death, but for the glory of God." [John 11:4]